Thoughts
by griffinatic
Summary: WARNING! HPB spoilers! Read only if you had read the book! Dumbledore's thoughts at the end of the book. Snape and Harry also in his thoughts


Warning! Spoilers to Half Blood Prince!

This is my take on what went through Albus Dumbledore's head at the end of the book.

This is a one shot!

I don't have the book with me right now for I am at work, (yes, I'm writing while at work) but I want to put this up while it's still fresh in my head so if there is something that doesn't agree completely with the book, please forgive me. The words will definitely not be exactly as it is in the book for I don't have a perfect memory but it will come down to the same thing.

Ps. Did Harry have the cloak on while Dumbledore told him to get professor Snape?

_Italics thoughts

* * *

_

"Get Severus Harry." _You have to get Severus Harry. I have to explain everything to you. You won't understand otherwise._

"But.."

"NOW, Harry. Get Professor Snape."

"Can't I get Madame Pomfrey, or Professor McGonagall?"

"No Harry. Professor Snape and only him. No one else Harry."

"but.."

"Do you remember your promise Harry? Do as I say." _Go Harry. I can feel I don't have long. We have to explain to you. Just listen Harry!_

Footsteps could be heard. Shouting, running to the door. I have to keep Harry here. He's safe with me. He'll be safe with Severus, but no where else. Albus waved his wand and immobilized Harry. Then Draco Malfoy entered.

The whole conversation with Draco went by as if Albus was not really there. He knew he was talking as well as that he used his Slytherin cunning subtly to try and coax Draco over to the side of the light but his heart wasn't in it. Oh, yes, he wanted the Malfoy heir to come to the light side but at the moment that was not his priority. He just wanted to stall for time. Hopefully Severus would show up soon and everything could be explained.

He could see the doubt and confusion in Draco's eyes but other than that, the slytherin displayed no other emotion. He guarded his features just as well as Severus always did.

Some more footsteps, shouts and cursing could be heard.

He knew now that it was not Severus. He would not be able to explain everything to Harry. He only hoped that Severus would be able to pull this off.

Luckily no one else knew about Harry's presence.

Harry.

The boy did really well. He followed my orders well, even when I was on the brink of giving up. He truly is a Gryffindor. Brave, loyal and as stubborn as any real friend would be when facing what he had faced.

I'm just really sorry that I would not be able to tell him what our plan was. He won't understand. If Severus can pull this off then I have no doubt in my mind that Harry would loose what little faith he had in Severus. I have and always will, trust Severus with my life. Just as I had Harry. Those two are more alike than they will ever know.

Some more footsteps. Then Severus entered. I have known Severus a great many years now but I can honestly say that I have never seen him in such a state.

"Severus…"

His emotions are well guarded, but I know him too well by now. I know he is scared. Scared of what he has to do. Scared of what I had asked him to do. I can see the hatred boiling behind his eyes. He had been a spy for too long. No one should be able to control their emotions this well. If I were to ask Severus to cry right now, he would be able to do it. If I were to ask him to put on a smirk or even a smile, he would be able to do it. But I can't ask him anything now. It would blow not only his cover but this whole plan into the water.

I'm just glad that he doesn't yet know about Harry standing there. He would not be able to pull this off if he had known.

I had never asked him or anyone else to do what he had to do. I know that it is tearing him up inside but there is no other way. I would have died anyway. My only regret is not telling Harry the plan earlier on.

This is going to put Severus in an even more dangerous position.

I can see he is hesitating.

"_Severus…..please…."_ I know he can't stand pleading. He knows I'm not pleading for my life. After all, how many times have I not said – to him as well – that death is but the next great adventure. I'm pleading with him to do what is right. To keep his cover. To kill the one father figure he had any respect and even love for. I am asking him to do the hardest thing anyone could ever be asked. And he hates me for it.

But he knows it is necessary. He knows he has to do it.

Not only because his cover would otherwise be blown, but because he knows he will loose all my respect for not valuing his own life above that of an old man.

"_Avade Kedavra"_

For one brief moment, one millisecond, I can see the horror in his eyes. The pain, the anger and the resentment he felt for what he had done.

If I did not know him as well as I did, I would have thought I had imagined it.

I hear someone screaming.

Harry.

He's going to hate Severus now. Not only doubt his allegiance, but hate him. I only hope that he will come up to my office, or Minerva's as it is now, so I can explain it to him. I'm sure that I will have a memory of me up there as a portrait.

There's nothing to be done now.

I am on my way to my next great adventure.

I only hope that I will find such great friends and family there as well.

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I am using the same post scrip as in my other fic.

So, what do you think? I just felt that there was something more to the book than what we read. Something in the way that Dumbledore had insisted on Harry getting Snape. Something in the way that he had said "_Severus….please…."_ I think it was a plead to do as Dumbledore had asked him, rather than to end his own life. That is just my point of view.

Tell me what you think. You can flame me as well. I would like to hear your opinions!


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